sometimes i just feel like quitting. i know - i've only been at it for a week and a half. it seems like forever... i feel so stupid sometimes.

i almost cried today. i misinterpreted a lab result today and told a patient's family that the baby had a certain disease. and then i had to retract the statement and tell them i was so sorry for misinterpreting the result. i felt so stupid. the lab result had been high out of the normal range, which was actually ok. if the value had been low and outside the normal range, the infant would have had the disease. anyway, parents, especially dad, were at wit's end. they had been in the hospital for a week with their new baby and were frustrated b/c the therapy wasn't really working. plus, the disease which we thought was causing all the problems, really wasn't. (that's the disease i told them the infant had). so we were back to square one. we still don't know what's causing the infant's problem. mom & dad hadn't gotten a good night's sleep in days, and were understandably, very frustrated. they wanted answers, and we didn't have any. and then, here i come and tell them their baby has a disease which he doesn't have. (stupid, stupid me) a similar incident had happened to the parents when baby was first born, and basically, dad said he didn't want any residents taking care of his son. (understandable, but what a low blow) i felt horrible.

i know these things happen sometimes. but it sucks.

what made my day was admitting a set of twins to the floor that i had actually "caught" when born the other day. mom actually remembered me catching her babies. i felt like i had played a part in bringing them into the world. if only they knew what they're in for...

i shall keep going. i must keep going. help me, Lord.